Hooked on a never-ending quest for who we are, I’m going to tell you that you and I are not much different from an ape or a canine. Keyword “not much”. One could argue there’s so much that separates us, humans, from animals. The title itself speaks volumes as we have adapted three variants to one simple outcome, “Sex”. At the end of the day Sexuality, Eroticism, and pornography reveals the carnal instincts within humans, which is one of the driving factors for all creatures on Earth. Understanding one’s expression of sexuality in itself can be empowering. Though the three elements stated in the title discuss one shared motive, the process of executing and performing of all three is very dissimilar and has its uniquity.

Sex, Love, Lust, Sexual expression, and Sensuality are matters that have been in question and of discussion throughout the years. One such infamous person to shed some light on this matter is Sigmund Freud. Though some of his arguments and theories are far from reality and practicality, he was able to open new pathways of study. Few of his discoveries are controversial yet make sense when taken as a part of the bigger picture.

1. “Sexuality Is Everyone’s Weakness — and Strength” — Since the beginning of humankind, sexual orientation and sexuality has been one of the sole reasons for major gender divisions and gender-biased job formations. Sex in itself is power. Be it on the bed, in society, or the wild. The one who initiates and the one who controls has the power to get what they want. Be it to satiate their sexual needs, to gain benefits (socially or financially), to play with the power dynamics in a relationship, and to reclaim the dominancy, sex has been and is in use as a weapon. This can either empower or destroy a person depending on the circumstances.

2. “Every Part of the Body Is Erotic” — Freud implied that human beings were sexual from the very beginning. From the days of breastfeeding up until adulthood, there is a sexual drive within all human beings. This reminds me of the well-articulated discourse Seema Anand performed on the “Art of Seduction” on a TEDx forum. She takes references from Ananga Ranga or Kamaledhiplava, which is an Indian sex manual written by ‘Kalyana Malla’ in the 15th or 16th century. Just like Freud, the Indian born storyteller Seema Ananda discreetly explains the subtle yet varied ways of seduction, or in common terminology methods of “turn-on’s”. She further explains the different erogenous zones and the relationships they have with the phases of the moon. In simpler terms, any part of the human body can be erotic.

3. “Fantasy Is an Important Factor in Sexual Excitement” — Needless to go into detail on this, as it is not a secret how much of a vital role our imagination plays to conceive the feeling of being “in the seventh heaven”.

Freudian’s theory in comparison to Carl Jung’s ideologies dispenses contrasting beliefs as well as similarities on a platonic level. While Freud expressed his ideologies on Sex, Love, and sexuality with real-life cases, and analysis of psycho-social behaviors, Jung approached love, sex, and relationships on a more spiritual and philosophical level. Though he excels in the fields of anthropology and a psychoanalyst when it comes to the topic of love, he gravitates more towards philosophy.

“The sexuality of man is more earthly, that of the woman is more spiritual. The spirituality of man is more heavenly, it moves toward the greater.” — Carl Jung, Liber Novus, Page 353.

“We can only become real by accepting our sexuality and not denying it through saintliness.” — Carl Jung.

He takes references from spirituality, religion, and philosophy to express the relationship between a man and a woman. He creates parallels of love to the heavens and the spiritual aspect of the universe implying the existence of a greater depth to the bond shared between two people.

On the topic of love, after browsing through a few of the ideologies and viewpoints of these scholars, I rounded up love into three categories. These can be viewed as different variants of love in a sexual partnership. The first type of love is probably the most common out of all three. It is the love we see commonly among humans and animals. The need to reproduce and the pressure to pass down genes are at the forefront of this partnership. This is a primitive and natural behavior in both animals and humans to ensure the survival of all living beings. In the animal world, we don’t see an attraction beyond the need to reproduce, and the process of finding a suitable mating partner is through an elimination process where the fittest and the strongest gets the chance to pass down their genes. In simpler terms, this is what Darwin explained by natural selection. The human version of love is somewhat similar to that too since most people when in a relationship goes through a process of elimination to choose the best partner for them. People in their mid to late 20s and 30s would usually be in a rush to find a suitable partner to avoid their “lady nuts expiring” and “the joysticks from malfunctioning”.

The second variant of love leans towards a hormonal attraction. This is the person who is in love with the idea of love. He or she is in love with love. It is the desire to be in the honeymoon phase continuously and it would most probably be very short-lived. It’s a state of being high on pleasure and can be paralleled to the feeling of a high one get from an aphrodisiac. Like when consuming chocolate or smelling of vanilla perfume.

The third is a more complex kind of attraction. This attraction is a result of falling in love with the mind, an appreciation of their existence, and agreeing to be a work in progress to uplift each other’s spirits, minds, bodies, and souls. The need to reproduce might be the last thing playing on their minds’ or would not be in the picture at all. Hence, it is not the equivalent of the first kind of love. Since there is an understanding between the two on what each other desires in life there is the possibility to partner up amidst the differences and compromise to work alongside the dissimilarities, knowing very well that there will be ups and downs in the said relationship. Unlike the forever happy-go-lucky honeymoon phase that was expected in the second variant of love, this outshines all sorts of love.

Just like the different variants of love, there are numerous ways of expressing love and attraction. The numerous facets of eroticism and sensuality, also known as sex allow a person to freely express their innermost desires and feelings. On the topic of eroticism and pornography, the double standards between them will forever be in debate. When discussing these two aspects side by side, most would point out the similarities, yet one sounds very sensual, appealing, and even quite romantic and the other a bit on the vulgar side and straight forward. Yet there are the subtle inconsistencies that make a world of a difference. Both would claim to be a form of art or performance but is it? The very well-known form of sexual display, that is pornography, is pretty straightforward and is meant for one purpose, which is to act as a medium of pleasure both for the viewer and the performer, and it gets straight to the point. The act of eroticism is much different in that aspect as it is a subtle and erotic approach compared to the other. Most of the time, in eroticism, there will only be subtleties of foreplay and the erotic depiction of the human body.

There are several types of eroticism. This includes erotica, erotic romance, erotic literature, erotic art, and erotic photography. Though the expression of passion, sensuality, and lust in the form of art is admired and even encouraged in many cultures there is a considerable amount of backlash from the majority at present in Sri Lanka. This is quite ironic considering the notorious history Sri Lanka had in the field of erotic performances, art, and erotic literature. One of the examples taken from history is the music composed by Ananda Samarakoon after being inspired by Tagore. In his work, “Endada Manike” Samarakoon incorporated the Indian goddess Saraswati as she assumes the disguise of a young woman. Enchanted by her beauty, a young man attempts to woo her. He invites her to come into the river to pluck flowers and the dialogue takes on a tone of eroticism when the girl’s white dress becomes wet. Yet the song remains appealing because of the subtle usage of words and the mild language. One of the lyrics is as follows, “In my next birth may I become the honeybee that drinks the flower’s pollen” the specialty of erotic composition during that time and now is the usage of language in the most subtle form. “As Ranjini Obeyesekere explains, “Love poetry or poems evoking śṛngāra rasa (erotic mood) were a well-known feature of classical Sinhalese poetry.” One could even argue that the core principles most deem as sacred in terms of religion, for example, the infamous Kusa Jataka tale carries erotic denotations. Though visual erotica can be appealing, there is so much room for imagination and improvement in the genre of erotic literature. This is similar to romance but has a much sensual and passionate approach in comparison to raunchy novels or straight up smut.

There is much room for growth and to explore in the field of eroticism. Just like the many love languages, such as acts of service, touch, and affirmations, there are various erotic/ sexual languages as well as said by the ONNA journal. According to her, there are five blueprints for erotic love language.

The 5 Erotic Blueprints are:

• Energetic
• Sensual
• Sexual
• Kinky
• Shape Shifter

Apart from these, there are many ways one can express oneself sexually. But why does it matter? Because it is what makes us human, it is one of the things that differentiates us as well as unites us from the animals, it is what makes us incomparable to the other humans. The unique approaches each one of us has towards these factors and how we perceive all these and incorporate them into our lives makes us who we are at the end of the day. Be it the way one performs on the bed, behind closed doors, or the way one flirts, it all indicates the knowledge one has on this matter and their own unique preferences which adds a bit of flavor to a mundane relationship. This creates one’s identity and personality.

Since this is an extremely broad subject matter this is an article that skimmed over the very top layer of the components.